Feeling Luxury

The day started at Nordstrom. The mission: one strapless bra. For you men out there, a cheap strapless bra feels like a vice grip on your ribs, falling slowly all night while you try to dance.

To buy cheap or to buy quality. That is the question. I saw in Peace Corps as the locals were forced to buy stuff Made in China that only looked like the American version. It broke in two weeks, everything half-rigged. Everything bought twice.

“You just have to get an $80 one,” a trusted friend said. Could it be that by spending money, you save money?

My fashion go-to sister-in-law suggested going to Nordstrom first, at least to get fitted. I have a gift certificate there. The nice girl named Kathleen asked me my name, measured my boobies, brought me bras by Chantelle and Calvin Klein. The Chantelle one ($85 with tax) felt like an anti-gravity device, floating around me. Ah, yes, this is what $80 buys you. The Calvins were not as nice. I put the Chantelle on hold.

Then we went to Nordstrom Rack. No one asked my name. We went to a basement room with racks to be picked over like the corpse of last year’s fashions. I found a Calvin bra, originally $40, now just $18. It was ok, better than normal. It felt a little like the vice on my ribs, but better than the flimsy black thing I had at home that I swore I’d never wear again.

Lastly we tried Ross. Clothes shoved on racks. Fallen clothes lying on the floor. Crying babies. We were greeted on the way in by the stares of the uniformed Loss Prevention Officers. I missed Kathleen.

I ended up with the $18 Calvin. I tried it on for a test run before the wedding I planned to wear it to. I was walking around the house with it on, and I realized: I don't want to feel like this. Whatever experience you're having, overlayed with the grip of this thing around you. I took it off and breathed a sigh of relief. It had only been 15 minutes. Maybe they'll take it back.