I won a commission today that will bring in approximately $4,000, for me. I high-fived my boss, did a jig, then realized the truth was that I had no feeling about it at all.
I sat in the car on the way home and looked for the feeling I knew should have been there. For better or for worse, I don't care about money.
Until I'm out of it. Until I'm desperate. Then, money is the thing I'll do anything for. I swear -- and mean -- that the next time I get my hands on money, I will not waste it. I will not mess up again.
Then I get some money, and the importance of this paper slips my mind again. I let it go. I'd rather have almost anything -- a mojito, a pair of heels, lunch with a friend -- than to have this dirty paper or those numbers in my bank account.
Ok, I acknowledge it. I'm like a sociopath for money. But I still can't let myself treat money like just a tide that flows in and out. I must treat each dollar like a soldier, hang on to my defenses.
1 comments:
I like this! Prosperity should be about financial freedom, not financial obligation. Stuff and more stuff does not give us prosperity, freedom to do what we want when we want and have the money always to do it - that is true prosperity.
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