Here We Go

I got my first full paycheck from my new job: $1,574. In 80 hours over two weeks, I made twice what I made by waitressing 120 hours over a month.

Having a lot of money always means one thing: I'm about to lose a lot of money. I keep freaking out: I'm going to mess this up. I'm going to mess this up. This, I believe, is the opposite of what they call a mantra.  

I was already fantasizing about a trip to the mall when my old co-worker asked if I could cover for her that night at the wine bar. Yes! Even though it's earning just a little money, it's still the opposite of spending money. None of this paycheck is mine anyway. It belongs to my mom and my boyfriend and Visa. 

I will not mess this up. I'm learning about the power of small habits to lead to big trends in your life. If you make every day a microcosm for how you want your life to be, those days will multiply into the life you want. It's worked for me and exercise. "If I can just go today..." 

Aristotle said: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” This is also how we become fuck ups. 

So can I just not fuck up this one paycheck? There is always just this question: Can I do this right, right now? 

Jeri says "First thing's first". So here's what I need to spend money on:

• My computer: I have never backed up my computer and, as a writer, it's full of my inventory. It's a ticking time bomb. I have an appointment at the Apple store Monday and I expect this might run me about $200 to do most of what I need to get it better after 5 years of abuse. It might take a few trips, a few paychecks to upgrade it fully.
• Work clothes: I need them, especially now that the weather's turning cold. I'm giving myself $100.
• An oil change: Budgeting $50, should be less. 
• Savings: I transferred $300 to my savings. I also might need this as a down payment on a lawyer to evict my tenants.
• Spending money: $150 a week for walking around money. Adds up to $300.
• Gas: Spent $50 yesterday, should save $50 for next week. 
• Mom: She needs to be paid for the cell phone. Five months behind = $225.
• I've been too broke to buy my brother a birthday present for years and it was my niece's birthday too: $100
• I should at least give my boyfriend back some money: $200
• Have a credit card payment due. I've decided to pay back my personal loans before my credit cards, even though a friend says, "Pay your mom last": $20

Ok, that adds up to $1,595. I'm also getting a tiny paycheck from the wine bar today so I can cover that extra. All I have to do is not fuck up this one paycheck, and maybe there's hope...