Monthly Month Check-in: July 2012

When I look over how I've done this past month, especially with my Debt-Free Before 30 Goal, I see a major blockade to my savings that I hadn't noticed before. It's the fear of being left out. 

We want to share experiences, and some cost money to be a part of. Going to shows. Having the $12 cocktail. Going out for sushi. 

If friends want to go to a meal, well you just have to go, because it's Friday. And if you don't go, they will surely have a wild, wonderful time from which will sprout many inside jokes that you'll never understand. So ok, you go. You're going to drink the cheapest beer on tap and order some cheapo vegetarian thing. You don't care, you just want to be there. 

Then you get there. Oh my God the special looks amazing. The cheapo vegetarian thing is just $8 cheaper, which is not that much and you just want this steak thing and who cares, right? 

While you're looking for the tap beers, someone else picks up the drink menu and says, "Ooh, Pomegranate Mojitos. Yes, everyone agrees, we should get those. This should be the night we had those amazing pomegranate mojitos. Fuck it, you say. 

You look at the bill on the table and let yourself slurp the last of your pink rum before you have to look at it. You're gone from zero to $50 in one night. 

And there's produce about to go bad in your refrigerator, isn't there?

I want you to know that one of my accounts is at -$5. Just is, for no reason. Oh wait, there is a reason. I lost my debit card (2 times in 2 months), and I procrastinated on calling it in, because I was sure that as soon as I did, I would find the first one while doing laundry. So I can't get to the $300 in the other account, yada yada yada story of my life. 

This is all the story of my life. 

BUT, I was inspired by The Daily Love, which said this: "We become successful by admitting we are not perfect, rather than trying to be perfect and thinking that we're not enough. And I think this about sums it up. When we admit this, and admit our fears, doubts and insecurities, we connect with that part that resides in all humans. We know we are a work in progress, so of course we are going to feel like a fraud if we try to project some form or version of perfection."

So I'm celebrating that I did pay off one credit card, my smaller one, this month. So there! I'm going to drag this immature, disorganized, impulsive child into a solid financial future, whether she likes it or not!

That's what's going on. Let's look at the numbers.

  Damn, look where my short-term debt started...$5,000. That's so daunting, so much money. And I'm so close to being able to say I paid that off!

 Look how motivated I was at the beginning. At that rate I would have been at zero debt by February. Then I fell off the wagon in a sad valley. Now I've been crawling. At least I'm crawling and not slipping!

Crawling crawling...out of the hole and into the green.

Ok here's my Mission: Debt-Free Before 30. I'm cutting it tighter and tighter. Now I only have $12 day to spend if I'm going to make it. That's only $84 a week. I need to stop going out to dinner and do this!